NEWS FLASH!

Rocker Stephan Jenkins of Third Eye Blind vanishes from concert
by Hugh Jass
Music News Wire
April 1, 2001

   Five songs into their set at last night's concert at Bryn Mawr College near Philadelphia, Third Eye Blind's frontman, Stephan Jenkins, mysteriously vanished to the dismay of fans and bandmates. Witnesses say that in the middle of performing the group's number one hit "Semi-Charmed Life", a green light shone from above blinding the crowd. As it dissipated, Jenkins was nowhere to be found.
    "We thought it was just part of the show, you know, stage lighting. Until it got so bright I had to turn away." says Third Eye Blind fan Fefse Mbmubte, 19 a sophomore at Bryn Mawr. Other fans agreed that the intense glare of the light prevented them from seeing anything on stage, as they later found out Jenkins had suddenly disappeared. After the band's roadies scoured the grounds for the singer and found nothing, the concert ended abruptly and concerned fans were sent home early.
    Jenkins' bandmates were later questioned by authorities as the FBI searched the venue for clues.
    When asked about the light, guitarist Tony Fredianelli replied "I don't know man, everything I see is green. Maybe it's these sunglasses."
    Bassist Arion Salazar elaborates: "He was there one second and GONE the next. Like poof. I'm all 'whoa Steve, where'd you go?' cuz his part was comin' up and he can't just ditch us like that. I know he forgets a lot but we needed him this time and he so just disappeared. We had to finish the song without him. I hate that. I can't tell you how much I hate it when he does that. But then I realized he wasn't playing games, he was gone for real. In a flash of green light." Salazar was visibly distraught.

    FBI agents questioned drummer, Brad Hargreaves at length apparently because he witnessed a great deal of the strange phenomenon as he sat behind the drum kit. Hargreaves has not been authorized to disclose any information to the press as of yet, but Detective Chico Wunderlich of the FBI reveals that Hargreaves's testimony, in conjunction with some clues found at the scene, reveals that Jenkins's disappearance may be related to paranormal activity.
    "It appears he's been abducted by extra-terrestrial visitors. Radio signals travel far into space and can get picked up by anyone, or anything and apparently, the song Sunny Chimed Kinda Life or whatever it's called offended the aliens, so they came to collect. Scientists at NASA are saying that the 'dootdootdoot' lyrics in the song were interpreted as fighting words," says Detective Wunderlich.

   Dedicated fans camped out in the parking lot awaiting the latest word.   Clearly they were in disbelief, "Stephan Jenkins is too fine for outer space. As if." says Ashley Elbows, 14 of Punxatawny.
    Scientists are currently negotiating for a safe return of the singer so the music can, indeed, continue.
    Third Eye Blind spawned such alternative/pop hits as Semi-Charmed Life, Jumper, How's it Going to Be and Never Let You Go. Jenkins is 29, or 34, or 36, or 37, or 52 depending on the source.

abducted.jpg (7526 bytes)
Singer Stephan Jenkins sees the light

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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